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You're all going to hate me for this...
nightmare fuel ii
matt1993
I wish I didn't have to worry so much for nearly two months and counting that people might hate me for still liking/using/refusing to leave LiveJournal.

TWO MONTHS.

In that time, I've met several people who are still active on LJ, and no one's actually said to me "I hate you because you still like LiveJournal!" or anything like that, so why can't I make myself stop worrying about it?!

I wish I could know that I'll start feeling better about this less than twenty years from now...


I wish less of the other websites I like had disappeared, too - I'm starting to feel like NOTHING I know and love will still be around in two years...

I wish this community hadn't been inactive even before this happened...

I also wish I didn't needlessly(?) worry so much even before all of this happened...


I used to think I would be SO much happier if I didn't have autism. Although I still think that could be true, I now realize that my social anxiety is probably holding me back more than my autism does.

So, I wish I didn't have social anxiety.

Wow, it's been a while
2010 nnwm procrastinator
matt1993
I haven't posted here in nearly three years. :(


I wish I hadn't went on such a long hiatus from checking my LJ friends page... now I feel like I have to make up for it by reading my friends page from January 2009 to the present as quick as I can just so I might eventually feel less like I've wasted so much time. (Or, at the very least, I wish I was further along in this rereading than March 2009, which is still over two years before my hiatus from checking my friends page actually began...)


I wish people could get along better and wouldn't hate each other, or think less of each other, or make fun of each other for having different opinions about anything from politics to movies to games...

I wish that seeing people express opinions that are strongly different from mine wouldn't automatically make me feel like they'll hate me if I admit that I disagree with them... or even used to disagree with them. About a year ago, I finally managed to stop worrying about the threads (from back in 2011) that made me worry so much about all of that in the first place, but the feeling of worry about other similar things has persisted...


I wish I didn't have to cringe so much when I reread LJ posts and comments (or other online comments) that I made back when I was a teenager.

I wish I knew for a fact that my more recent posts are any better...


I wish I didn't sometimes feel like I'm way too different from anyone else to truly fit in anywhere...


I wish enough people were active on LiveJournal for me to know for a fact that someone will even see this post...

...
peace heart
sans_balance
I wish I had taken up swimming as a child.

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skye_blue
i wish i could live a wild gypse woman . screw public schools and teach my gurls herbal medicine and other natural sciences. i wish i didnt have to wish....

STOP hurting!
bluegreenlilac
I wish all these things would stop hurting--piriform muscle, sciatic nerve, hamstring. Kill it;  with ice, fire, anything; just make it stop :-(

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xdarkgothamx
I wish that I/we could meet someone from our own universe(s), other then here physically. We have more friends here but it still gets lonely and we miss talking to people.

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erdbeerblume

I wish I had this one best friend - and be this one best friend for someone, too.


...
debporritt
79563

I wish I didn't STILL have to feel like this userpic sometimes
nightmare fuel i
matt1993
I wish I hadn't made the stupid decision to stop checking my LJ friends page until I finished my list of links to all my entries and comments that I was worried that my LJ friends would hate me for (which I previously mentioned here).

Because that took almost a year to finish (and I actually first decided to stop checking my friends page for a while before that so I'd have more time to finish my creative vortexes [previously mentioned in my first post to this community]), and in the meantime, at least three of my friends have unfriended me, and I've only figured out why one did, so now I have to wonder whether the other two (or more...) unfriended me because I didn't check my friends page for so long or because they were offended by anything in that list...

I wish I could stop worrying now about the things I've said and thought. I at least know that no one who commented on the list of links hates me for anything I've said, but I also know that for some of my entries and comments, it's only because it's clear that they're my past opinions. And I also know that some of them are offensive - my friends who commented on it just don't hold them against me.

Plus, the list doesn't include anything more recent than last August (the month I finally finished it and posted it), nor does it include anything I've said or thought outside LJ (which are, in some cases, things that I still can hardly imagine anyone not hating me for).

So now I have a huge dilemma: Make a list of the other things and post that just to make sure no one will hate me for it either? Catch up on my friends page more? (I finally started making myself check it at least once every 3 days about a month ago, and caught up on older entries a little, but given how many things there still are that remind me of the Forbidden Comment Threads, I didn't go further back than last November yet because I decided I might need to finish the list of worries fairly soon to finally get over this depression...) Work on my creative vortexes, some of which I know some of my LJ friends were looking forward to?

That's why after I caught up on about a month's worth of my friends page like I mentioned, I posted a poll to my LJ asking which of those things (and more) I should do first, but while I did get some responses, making that poll only made me further realize just how many unfinished projects I'd started (or, in some cases, hadn't started). There's so many things that I probably won't be able to finish within the next two years or so unless I once again wait until I finish one of them to work on any of the others - and even then, that will probably only get one of them done within a couple of years if it's one of the smaller ones...

Basically:

- I wish I weren't such a horrible friend. Or a horrible person.
- I wish I knew exactly what to do - or at least if there's anything I can do - to stop feeling almost like I'm the last person alive in a post-apocalyptic future...
- I'm feeling a little better at the moment, but I wish I could at least be sure that I'll still feel okay by Christmas...

EDIT: I also wish I could talk about all of this more concisely. It just goes to show how much of a mess I'm in...

I Wish
stillbhere
I wish I'd made better choices.  I wish I wasn't so afraid.