peace heart
I wish I had taken up swimming as a child.

i wish i could live a wild gypse woman . screw public schools and teach my gurls herbal medicine and other natural sciences. i wish i didnt have to wish....

STOP hurting!
I wish all these things would stop hurting--piriform muscle, sciatic nerve, hamstring. Kill it;  with ice, fire, anything; just make it stop :-(

I wish that I/we could meet someone from our own universe(s), other then here physically. We have more friends here but it still gets lonely and we miss talking to people.


I wish I had this one best friend - and be this one best friend for someone, too.


I wish I didn't STILL have to feel like this userpic sometimes
nightmare fuel i
I wish I hadn't made the stupid decision to stop checking my LJ friends page until I finished my list of links to all my entries and comments that I was worried that my LJ friends would hate me for (which I previously mentioned here).

Because that took almost a year to finish (and I actually first decided to stop checking my friends page for a while before that so I'd have more time to finish my creative vortexes [previously mentioned in my first post to this community]), and in the meantime, at least three of my friends have unfriended me, and I've only figured out why one did, so now I have to wonder whether the other two (or more...) unfriended me because I didn't check my friends page for so long or because they were offended by anything in that list...

I wish I could stop worrying now about the things I've said and thought. I at least know that no one who commented on the list of links hates me for anything I've said, but I also know that for some of my entries and comments, it's only because it's clear that they're my past opinions. And I also know that some of them are offensive - my friends who commented on it just don't hold them against me.

Plus, the list doesn't include anything more recent than last August (the month I finally finished it and posted it), nor does it include anything I've said or thought outside LJ (which are, in some cases, things that I still can hardly imagine anyone not hating me for).

So now I have a huge dilemma: Make a list of the other things and post that just to make sure no one will hate me for it either? Catch up on my friends page more? (I finally started making myself check it at least once every 3 days about a month ago, and caught up on older entries a little, but given how many things there still are that remind me of the Forbidden Comment Threads, I didn't go further back than last November yet because I decided I might need to finish the list of worries fairly soon to finally get over this depression...) Work on my creative vortexes, some of which I know some of my LJ friends were looking forward to?

That's why after I caught up on about a month's worth of my friends page like I mentioned, I posted a poll to my LJ asking which of those things (and more) I should do first, but while I did get some responses, making that poll only made me further realize just how many unfinished projects I'd started (or, in some cases, hadn't started). There's so many things that I probably won't be able to finish within the next two years or so unless I once again wait until I finish one of them to work on any of the others - and even then, that will probably only get one of them done within a couple of years if it's one of the smaller ones...


- I wish I weren't such a horrible friend. Or a horrible person.
- I wish I knew exactly what to do - or at least if there's anything I can do - to stop feeling almost like I'm the last person alive in a post-apocalyptic future...
- I'm feeling a little better at the moment, but I wish I could at least be sure that I'll still feel okay by Christmas...

EDIT: I also wish I could talk about all of this more concisely. It just goes to show how much of a mess I'm in...

I Wish
I wish I'd made better choices.  I wish I wasn't so afraid.

I wish I don't have money problems
I wish my parents don't put the financial pressure on me.

I wish my mom would get more work and more pay.

I wish my brother would be more helpful financially instead of being so lazy.

I wish I could afford to move away from my parents and have my own place.

I wish I didn't have to feel like this new userpic
nightmare fuel i
I wish I weren't still depressed about the Forbidden Comment Threads (which I've previously mentioned and alluded to in this community, but it's been a while since I posted here at all) at the worst possible times.

It's been 19 months already, and yet I still live almost every day (but thankfully, not almost every moment... YET) worrying about at least 300 of my old entries and comments and the possibility that if someone (even one of my LJ friends) who hasn't already read them sees them, it could cause drama just as bad as the Forbidden Comment Threads.

I wish I weren't at the point where everything has the potential to remind me of either those threads or something else that reminds me of them...

I wish compiling a list of links to all of my aforementioned posts and showing the list to my LJ friends just to see what happens wasn't the only strategy I know of for getting over this depression for good.

I wish I were at least done writing said list. I've been working on it since last October...

I wish that I hadn't had to stop regularly checking my LJ friends page (yes, I'm a bad friend...) just to have the time to get what I have so far completed, 8 months after I started...

I wish that my summer class weren't cutting into my time about as much as checking my friends page would...

I wish that I could even know for sure that finishing the list and posting it will help... Several of my friends said that it was a good idea when I posted about it, but will it actually work? :(


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